Issues arise in every relationship and sometimes, couples choose to spend time apart. What I've learned through this is that when that happens, many times couples don't grow together because growth requires cohesiveness. In this episode of Words of Wisdom Wednesday, I discuss an example in my life where an ex and I went separate ways and when he tried to reconcile, I felt nothing because I had evolved into a different human being. We no longer had things in common and struggled to maintain a conversation because our interests had evolved as well.
During the time we were apart, I matured in a different way than he did and physical attraction was no longer enough. I needed more from the relationship but that "more" represented a need to rebuild on something that no longer existed. Fires can't last forever if there's nothing to burn. Eventually the material that allows the fire to exist ceases, which is what happened to attraction and chemistry between two people. If both do not prioritize growing as individuals and make an effort to build upon a bond, it's likely you'll grow apart.
This week's podcast episode was created in preparation for the launch of my upcoming book about the lessons my exes left behind. Relationships are where we most grow and if we choose to find the light, lessons rise to the surface showing us that no experience is a waste of time. The lessons my ex boyfriends left are a result of the dynamic within the relationship, not the actual individual. While we're able to learn from watching other people's behavior, I decided to focus on my personal feelings, emotions, and reactions. As I became inquisitive about why certain scenarios caused pain and grief, I slowly began to uncover the root of these emotions, leading me down an endless path of self-discovery.